10 Things You Ought to Know About H. Granger Revealed by Rita Skeeter

If you think you know enough of H. Granger to be called her "intimate friend," well, I am sorry to disappoint you. It so happens I know more about her than you do,  'though she said to a Quibbler correspondent she'd rather French kiss You-Know-Who than make friends with me.

To those who labour under the delusion that they know H. Granger from top to toe, here is what I have to say: read this article first, then ask yourself this question: " Do I really know H. Granger?"

A VERY reliable source from the Department of Mysteries recently indulged me during one of my rare trips to the Hog's Head. After six shots of firewhiskey, he divulged 10 well-kept details about H. Granger, which most of her friends, even the closest ones, do not know. Naturally, I got overly excited about it, as well as my quick quotes quill. So, without much ado, here they are...

1. Back in college, H. Granger enjoyed playing the part of a ghost writer for those pathetic blokes who do not know how to court a girl. She wrote killer love letters which yielded favorable results, and this included a letter for a girl who was courted by the boy she loved. How so tragic!

2. H. is a hard-core X-Files and Alias fanatic. She'd rather sit on the couch watching X-Files and Alias marathon than make out with her current boyfriend.

3. H. has a very "unnatural" attraction to puppy breath. She thinks puppy breath smells like mocha.

4. H. sleeps better without her panties on.

5. H. coudn't do Number Two without a book to read.

6. H. has papered her bedroom wall with movie posters, which include Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Mulan, A Christmas Carol, to name a few.

7. H. baby talks her dogs and calls them by several pet names.

8. H. loves the opera and dreams of becoming an opera sensation after her retirement. Among her favourite opera pieces are "O Mio Babbino Caro" from Puccini's Gianni Schicci and Nessun Dorma from Turandot.

9. H. was a certified geek back in high school, having only two friends (as geeky as she was), and reading only Biology and World History books during her spare time.

10. H. has written out her last Will and Testament at age 30 and stipulated in it that she wants to be cremated within 24 hours of her demise. The document is currently in the possession of a former student who is now in the United States.

So, there. I hope these hard-to-find facts will not change the way you look at the "enigmatic" H. Granger. After all, she is just a girl.

A Greeting for Granger at Grimmauld Place from G.!

I know you'll love the alliteration part H.. wow.. Is it really been that long since we visited Grimmauld Place?? Wherefore art thou residents?? I understand we've all been tremendously busy these past few months, but I won't forgive myself if I neglect and forget to greet my most favorite resident.. H. Granger! How are you H?? I've missed you? What are you up to these days? Wandering the halls of Hogwarts or sneaking to the restricted section of the library? Anyway, whatever you are up to, I took the liberty and the time to post another entry here, in celebration of your birthday (there, i didn't reveal your age.. :)) Happy Birthday H. Granger! This one's for you!  ;)

I met H. Granger, back in 2009. I was in one of her classes and I must say that I have enjoyed her class so  much I wanted her to be my teacher to each and every subject. It is through her that I've realized my passion and love for literature. I was in my third year, and under her class, when I became extremely inspired by her love of books and words. So there, now I have piles of books in my room, and her to blame. From the day I met her, I have looked up to her as mentor, a pothead, a book lover, as a woman and as a person. However it is not 'til recently that we started getting closer and eventually became friends. It all started when we decided to watch HP 7.1 together. To put it simply, our love for Harry Potter, brought us together. For me, it started the beautiful friendship she and I have. We have bonded and became friends and thus the birth of Grimmauld Place. I have to say that Grimmauld Place helped our friendship grow and even more wicked! It is through Grimmauld Place that we started calling each other H. and G. And if you were to ask me, some aspects of our friendship is quite parallel to that of what Hermione and Ginny have. H. is always gonna be what Hermione was to Ginny: a wise counsel, a concerned and loving friend. H, is the one who constantly reminds me to keep close contact with here and now, with reality (though if you ask me, we're equally crazy! hehehe) The one who calls me pathetic if I'm acting like one. She's the one who pulls the alarm when she thinks that the fire is gonna swallow me whole if I don't extinguish it fast. She continuously makes me laugh my guts out with her amazing wit and humor. She constantly encourages me to become better, whether she knows it or not. She makes me feel good about myself through her praises. She makes me realize that even though we both don't have a "Ron" and a "Harry" in our lives, we are fantastic, gorgeous, smart women whom   mere mortal guys are intimated by and cower at our presence. She teaches me so many things, some I couldn't publicly state here (wink, wink ;)). I have always envied her intelligence and her wisdom, making me wanna be just like her someday.

So what's left for me to say here H? But, THANK YOU.. MERCI BEACOUP..., GRAZIE MILLE.. for all the things I know you've given me and those I didn't know came from you.. (wink,wink)Than k you for teaching me a lot of things. You're not just a teacher of Literature.. You're a teacher of Life.. and I am thankful and proud of being called your student.. Hope someday, i can return the favor and make you proud of me too. But above all, thank you for trusting me, for sharing to me things in your life, for revealing a part of your soul to me. Thank you for the friendship I will always thank God and Harry Potter for. I am always in awe of your intelligence and wit, but I am more astounded with the goodness of your heart. Anyone would be so lucky to be your friend. And maybe, I swallowed a gallon of Felix Felicis and became extremely lucky of becoming one of your friends...

Happy Birthday H! Hope you're having a blast! Teach me French and Italian soon, this tongue needs practice.. hahahaha.. God bless! I LOVE YOU, Granger!

Semper Fidelis,

G. "G-girl" Potter